(stringed glissando playing )
Shh.
NARRATOR: Royal Tenenbaum bought the house on ArcherAvenue
in the winterofhis 35th year.
(instrumental ""HeyJude""plays )
Overthe nextdecade
he and his wife had three children
and then theyseparated.
Areyou getting divorced?
At the moment, no... but... it doesn"t look good.
Do you still love us?
Ofcourse l do.
Do you still love Mom?
Yes, very much, butyour mother"s asked me to leave
and l must respect her position on the matter.
ls it ourfault?
No.
Obviously, we made certain sacrifices
as a result of having children, but, uh...
no, Lord, no.
Then why"d she askyou to leave?
l don"t really know anymore.
Maybe, uh, l wasn"t as true to her as l could"ve been.
Well, she said...
Let"sjust drop it
shall we, uh, Chassie?
NARRATOR: Theywere never legallydivorced.
Thankyou, Pagoda.
NARRATOR: Etheline Tenenbaum keptthe house
and raised the children
and theireducation was herhighestpriority.
Yes, l"ll hold, please.
Thankyou.
l need $187.
Writeyourselfa check.
Bene. Si.
Grazie mille.
NARRATOR: She wrote a book on thesubject.
-Chas, Chas! -Richie!
Uh, the gentleman in the blue cardigan, please.
Thankyou. l have a two-part question.
Go ahead.
NARRATOR: Chas Tenenbaum had, since elementaryschool
taken mostofhis meals in his room
standing up athis desk with a cup ofcoffee
to save time.
( ""Hey, Jude"" continuing )
In thesixth grade, he wentinto business
breeding Dalmatian mice
which hesold to apetshop in Little Tokyo.
Hestarted buying real estate in his earlyteens
andseemed to have an almost preternatural understanding
ofinternational finance.
He negotiated thepurchase ofhis father"ssummerhouse
on Eagle"s Island.
ROYAL: Hold it, Chassie.
Hold it right there.
What areyou doing? You"re on my team.
( chuckles)
There are no teams.
( groans)
(laughing )
NARRATOR: The BB wasstilllodged between two knuckles
in Chas"slefthand.
Margot Tenenbaum was adopted atage two.
Herfatherhad always noted this when introducing her.
This is my adopted daughter MargotTenenbaum.
NARRATOR: She was aplaywright, and won a Braverman Grantof$50,000
in the ninth grade.
She and herbrotherRichie ran awayfrom home one winter
and camped out
in theAfrican wing ofthepublic archives.
( camerashutterclicking )
Hi, Eli.
You said Icould run away, too.
No, l didn"t, and don"t tell anyoneyou saw us.
NARRATOR: Theyshared asleeping bag
andsurvived on crackers and rootbeer.
Fouryearslater
Margotdisappeared alone fortwo weeks
and came back with halfa fingermissing.
Richie Tenenbaum had been a champion tennisplayer
since the third grade.
Do you copy, Anonymous?
NARRATOR: He turnedpro at 17
and won the U.S. Nationals threeyearsin a row.
He keptastudio in the cornerofthe ballroom
buthad failed to develop as apainter.
Up... up...
right...
perfect.
Pagoda?
NARRATOR: On weekends
Royal tookhim on outings around the city.
(yelling )
( dogs barking )
Put it out there.
NARRATOR: Theseinvitations
were neverextended to anyone else.
(laughing )
Richie"s bestfriend, Eli Cash, lived with his aunt
in the building across thestreet.
He was a regularfixture atfamilygatherings
holidays, mornings before school, and mostafternoons.
The three Tenenbaum children performed Margot"s firstplay
on the night ofher 11th birthday.
( doorbell rings)
Theyhad agreed
to invite theirfather to theparty.
What"d you think, Dad?
Mmm... didn"t seem believable to me.
Why areyou wearing pajamas?
Do you live here?
He has permission to sleep over.
Well, did you at least think
the characters werewell-developed?
What characters?
This is a bunch oflittle kids, uh
dressed up in animal costumes.
Good night, everyone.
Well, sweetie...
don"t be mad at me.
That"sjust one man"s opinion.
CHlLDREN: Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you...
NARRATOR: He had notbeen invited to anyoftheirpartiessince.
In fact, virtuallyall memory
ofthe brilliance oftheyoung Tenenbaums
had been erased
bytwo decades ofbetrayal, failure, and disaster.
Go, Mordecai.
( ""HeyJude""plays )
Na, na, na
Na-na-na-na
Hey Jude
Na, na, na
Na-na-na-na...
( ""HeyJude"" fades)
( classical musicplaying )
(shutterclicks )
l"ve been instructed
to refuse anyfurther charges on your room account
and to directyou, in writing
to pleasevacate the premises by the end ofthe month.
What about Sing-Sang?
l owe her $100.
NARRATOR: Royal hadlived in the Lindbergh Palace Hotel
for22years.
( keyboard clacking )
Can you pay her in cash?
Uh-uh.
NARRATOR: He was aprominentlitigator until the mid "80s
when he was disbarred and brieflyimprisoned.
No onein his familyhadspoken to himin threeyears.
Read it back to me so far, Pietro.
New paragraph.
NARRATOR: Richie had retired
fromprofessional tennis at26.
Hislastmatch had been widelydiscussedin the media.
( tennis ball hits racquet, bounces on court)
( applause)
""Yourfriend Richie."" End ofletter.
NARRATOR: Forthepastyear, he had been traveling alone
on an ocean liner called the Cote d"lvoire
and hadseen both poles, five oceans
theAmazon and the Nile.
""The crickets and the rust beetles scuttled
""among the nettles ofthe sage thicket.
"""Vamanos, amigos," hewhispered
""and threw the busted-leatherflint craw
""over the looseweave ofthe saddle cock
and they rode on in thefriscalating dusk light.""
( applause)
NARRATOR: Eli was an assistantprofessor
ofEnglish literature atBrooks College.
The recentpublication ofhissecond novel...
( horses galloping, gunfire, shouting )
...had earned him asudden, unexpectedliterarycelebrity.
Well, everyone knows Custer died at Little Bighorn.
What this book presupposes is... maybe he didn"t.
Let me askyou something.
Whywould a review make the point ofsaying
someone"s nota genius?
You think l"m especially nota genius?
l knoww...
You didn"t even have to think about it, did you?
Well, l just don"t use thatword lightly.
( knocking on door)
l have to go, Eli.
( knocking on door)
MAN: Margot?
Uh-huh.
May l come in, please?
( waterrunning )
(squeaking )
How areyou, my darling?
NARRATOR: Margo was married to the writerand neurologist
Raleigh St. Clair.
( gulls cawing )
l"m fine, thankyou.
You need to eat something.
May l makeyou dinner?
No, thankyou.
( tapping prosthetic finger)
NARRATOR: She was known forherextremesecrecy.
Forexample, none ofthe Tenenbaums knew
she was asmoker, which she had been since the age of 12.
Norwere theyaware ofherfirstmarriage
and divorce to a recording artistin Jamaica.
She keptaprivatestudio in Mockingbird Heights
underthe name ""Helen Scott.""
She had notcompleted aplay in seven years.
17 October, third examination ofDudley Heinsbergen.
All right, Dudley
makeyours like mine.
( clicks )
NARRATOR: Raleigh"s nextbookwas on thesubject
ofa condition he called ""Heinsbergen Syndrome.""
Where"s that red one
going to go?
Done.
Good.
Very good.
( chuckles)
My goodness.
How interesting. How bizarre.
Dudley suffers from a rare disorder
combining symptoms ofamnesia, dyslexia
and color blindness.
He has a highly acute sense of hearing.
There is also evidence of...
l"m not color blind, am l?
l"m afraid you are.
( watch ticking )
( alarm blaring )
Ari, fire alarm! Let"s go!
Outyou go!
Let"s go!
Uzi, emergency! Let"s go!
Uzi... what did l just say?!
Look alive!
Fire!
NARRATOR: Chas"s wife Rachael
was killedin aplane crash theprevioussummer.
What about Buckley?
lt"s too late. You forgot him.
Buckley! Buckley!
No elevator! There"s afire.
Go, go!
Go, go, go, go, go! Go, go, go, go, go!
NARRATOR: Chas and theirtwo sons, Ari and Uzi
were also on the flight andsurvived
as did theirdog
who was discoveredin his cage
several thousandyards from the crash site.
( clicks )
Four minutes, 48 seconds.
We"re all dead, burnt to a crisp.
NARRATOR: Overthelastsixmonths
he had becomeincreasingly concerned with theirsafety.
We left Buckley.
lt doesn"t matter.
NARRATOR: Etheline became an archaeologist
and had overseen excavations
forthe DepartmentofHousing and the TransitAuthority.
Apropos ofmy question
regarding l-40 slash l-9 adjustments...
um...
( clears throat)
NARRATOR: She taughta bridge class twice a week
with herfriend and business manager, Henry Sherman.
( calculatorclicking )
ltwould probably be advantageous
foryour marital status
to be legally established as single
in light ofthe circumstances.
What do you mean?
l mean for tax purposes.
But l thought...
-Etheline... -Yes?
Will you marry me?
l...
l loveyou, uh...
Did you already know that?
No, l didn"t.
Since herseparation from herhusband
she had had manysuitors...
...buthad notconsidered asingle one until this moment.
This isn"t really a tax issue, is it?
That"s true, uh...
l don"t knowwhy l put it thatway.
Let me think about it, Henry.
Hello. Please tell Mr. Royal this is the Pagoda.
( bell dings)
Lobby.
Thankyou, Dusty.
You"rewelcome.
Good morning, Jerry.
Hmm...
Oh, there"s a call foryou, Mr. Tenenbaum.
Who is it, Frederick?
A Mr. Pagoda.
(phone ringing )
What do you got?
The black man asked her to be his wife.
No shit?
What did Ethel say?
She think about it.
l don"t like the sound ofthis one damn bit, Pagoda.
l mean... Lord knows
l"ve had my share ofinfidelities
but she"s still mywife.
And no damn two-bit, chartered accountant
is going to change that.
Hi.
Hey, Pagoda, give us a hand, huh?
( classical musicplays )
( doorcloses)
( footsteps)
Chas?
What"s going on?
We got locked out ofour apartment.
Did you call a locksmith?
Uh-huh.
Well, l don"t understand.
Did you packyour bags beforeyou got locked out
or how did you...?
lt"s not safe over there.
Excuse mefor a moment.
What areyou talking about?
The apartment.
l have to get some new sprinklers
and a backup security system installed.
But there are no sprinklers here, either.
Well, we might have to do something about that, too.
Okay.
lsn"t this fun, huh?
lsn"t this great?
Feels likewe"re camping.
When arewe going home?
Huh?
Hey, look at this.
( chuckles)
Pretty cool, huh?
Who am l supposed to be?
Who put that in here?
...Look at me
What am l supposed to be?
Okay.
Well, l will seeyou boys in the morning.
-Good night. -Good night.
Good night.
Look at me
You knowwhat?
l think l"m going to sleep in herewith you.
Thatway...
( grunts)
...we can all be together.
(sighs)
Oh, my love
Oh.
What kind ofside effects can be expected?
Well, there are a number of possibilities.
Severe nausea and dizziness are standard.
A certain percentage of patients may also experience seizure.
You mean, likeflopping around on thefloor and everything?
ln some cases.
(sighs)
( knocking )
You have avisitor, my darling.
MARGOT: Who is it?
lt"s me, sweetie.
( watersplashing )
Raleigh says you"ve been spending six hours a day
locked in here, watching television
and soaking in the tub.
l doubt that.
l don"t think that"s very healthy, do you?
Nor do l think it"s very intelligent
to keep an electrical gadget on the edge ofthe bathtub.
l tie it to the radiator.
Well, it can"t bevery good foryour eyes, anyway.
Chas came home.
What do you mean?
He and Ari and Uzi are going to stay
with mefor a littlewhile.
Why are they allowed to do that?
l don"t know exactly
but l think he"s been very depressed.
So am l.
So areyou, what?
Butwhy is this necessary?
"Cause l"m in a rut, and l need a change.
Hang on.
( Vince Guaraldi Trio"s
""Christmas Timeis Here"" playing )
ETHELlNE: Taxi!
That cab has a dent in it.
You don"t love me anymore, do you?
l do, kind of.
l can"t explain it right now.
Another dent here, and another dent here.
( horn honks )
l"ll call you, okay?
Hello.
Hello?
Hello, beautiful.
Got a minute?
( gasps)
What areyou doing here?
Uh, l need afavor.
l want to spend some time with you and the children.
Areyou crazy?
Well, wait a minute, damn it!
Stop following me.
Well, l want myfamily back.
Well, you can"t have it.
l"m sorryforyou, but it"s too late.
Well, listen...
Baby, l"m dying.
Yeah, l"m-l"m sick as a dog.
l"ll be dead in sixweeks.
l"m dying.
What areyou talking about?
What"s happening?
Oh, l"m sorry.
l didn"t know.
(sobbing ): Well, what"d they say?
What is the prognosis?
Take it easy, Ethel.
Now, hold-hold on, baby, hold on.
Hold on, okay?
( hystericalsobbing )
Ethel, hold on, hold on.
Where is the doctor?
Don"t... Well, just...
W-Wait a second now.
Wait a second.
Okay, uh, listen, l"m not dying...
but l need some time.
A month or so, okay?
l want us... l want us to-to...
What"s wrong with you?!
Damn!
Ethel.
Areyou crazy?!
Ethel, baby...
l am dying.
Areyou or aren"tyou?
What? Dying?
Yeah.
Haveyou told your children?
More or less.
And are they all right?
lt"s hard to say.
Who"s yourfather?
His name is Royal Tenenbaum.
You told us hewas already dead.
Yeah, well, now he"s really dying.
-Ready. -Print it.
l am very sorry, Margo.
That"s okay.
We"re not actually related, anyway.
True.
l"d like to send a response, please.
MAN: Yes, sir, go ahead.
Dear Mom:
l received your message.
l"m coming home as soon as possible.
Who do l see about that?
NARRATOR: Theship"sporterarranged for Richie to disembarkatHalifax
and transfer to a third-classstate room
on board the Queen Helena
destined for the Eastern seaboard.
His trunks would notarrive foranother 11 days.
Hey, Baumer.
Do you mind ifwe get a picturewith you?
Not at all.
NARRATOR: He had made a request forhis usual escort
the one from his days on the circuit
to meethim atthepier bywayofthe Green Line bus.
Hi.
NARRATOR: As always, she waslate.
( upbeatguitarstrumming )
l"ve been outwalking
l don"t do too much talking these days
These days
These days l seem to think a lot
About the things that l forgot to do...
And other times, l...
Stand up straight.
Let me get a look atyou.
What"s so funny?
Well it"s nice to seeyou, too.
NARRATOR: Thatnight, Etheline found all ofherchildren
living togetherunder thesame roof
forthe firsttimein 17years.
Where"s your dad?
NARRATOR: The nextmorning, Richie woke atdawn.
He had decided birdsshould not be keptin cages
fed Mordecai threesardines, andsethim free.
( doorbell chimes)
l"ve missed the hell out ofyou, my darlings.
Well, you know that, though, don"tyou?
l hearyou"re dying.
So they tell me.
l"m sorry.
Well, l"ve had a good run.
You don"t look so sick, Dad.
Thankyou.
What haveyou got?
l"ve got a pretty bad case ofcancer.
( Chasyawning ): How long you going to last?
Not long.
A month, ayear?
About sixweeks.
Let me get to the point.
The three ofyou and your mother are all l"ve got
and l loveyou more than anything.
CHAS: Ho-ho!
-Ho-ho. -Chas, let me
finish here.
Now, l"ve got sixweeks to set things rightwith you
and l aim to do it.
Will you give me a chance?
No.
You speak
for everyone?
l speakfor myself.
Well, you"ve madeyourviews known.
Let somebody else do some of the talking now.
What do you propose to do?
l can"t say, really.
Um, make up for lost time, l suppose.
First thing l want to do is
takeyou out to see your grandmother, at some point.
l haven"t been out there since l was six.
l haven"t been out there at all.
l was never invited.
Well, shewasn"t your real grandmother
and l never knew how much interestyou had, uh, sweetie.
Anyway, you"re invited now.
Thanks.
RlCHlE: You know, Rachael"s buried
out there, too.
Who?
Mywife.
Oh, that"s right, isn"t it?
Well, we"ll have to swing by her grave, too.
Uh, l"ll be right back.
Chas.
Can l see my grandsons?
Why?
Because l finallywant to meet them.
(sighing )
Don"t give me that guff.
l thinkwe"ll pass.
Pagoda...
where"s my Havelina?
l"ll say good-night to you now, children.
Dad.
Thankyou, my sweet boy.
l"ll contactyou in the next 12 hours
with further instructions.
Look at that old
grizzly bear.
Hello, Ethel.
Good evening, sir.
Hold the cab, will you, driver?
Royal, this is Henry Sherman.
Hey, lay it on me, man.
How do you do?
Not too well. l"m dying.
( upbeatmusicplaying on radio )
How"s Richie?
l don"t know.
l can"t tell.
Yeah, me neither.
Hewrote me a letter.
He says he"s in lovewith you.
What areyou talking about?
That"s what he said.
l don"t know how we"re supposed to take it.
Hang on.
( male vocalistsinging on radio )
( buzzersounds)
MAN: Hello.
Sugar, it"s Eli.
Hey, baby, give me a second.
What arewe doing, Eli?
Oh, l just got to pick something up.
Don"t repeat that, by theway.
About Richie.
ltwas told to me in confidence, and, you know...
(lockbuzzes)
Good.
Nowjust remove the loose soil
and note the decomposition levels.
l"m sorry to interrupt yourwork.
Don"t be silly.
Come on.
l justwant to apologize for the other day
when l proposed to you.
Why?
l thought itwas very sweet.
l know l"m not as accomplished as some ofthe men
you"ve been involved with.
Uh, Franklin Benedict, General Cartwright,
and your ex-husband.
Oh, that"s ridiculous.
But, but, l feel...
l can offer just as much as them.
l know l went about it backwards, but...
Henry, l have no interest in Franklin Benedict
or Doug Cartwright-- l never did--
and as far as Royal"s concerned, he"s the most...
Henry?
Henry, areyou all right?
Yeah, l"m fine. l"m fine.
Anyway, let me know when you make up your mind.
Henry, wait a second.
l"m sorry, l"m very nervous.
Th-That"s okay.
Oh, thankyou.
Why areyou so nervous?
Well, to tell you the truth
l haven"t slept with a man in 18 years.
Dah-dah-dum
Dah-dah, dah-dah, dah, dah-dum
Dah-dah, dah-dah-dah
( giggling ) Dah-dah, dah-dah, dah...
La-dah-dah-dah-dah, dah-dah...
( whistling )
Lah-dah-dah-dah-dah, dah-dah...
( Royal whistles)
Dah-dah, dah-dah-dah-dah...
Dah, dah-dah-dah, dah, dee...
Dah, dah-dah-dah-dah, dah-dah-dah...
Dah-dah, dah-dah...
That"s a hell ofan old hound dog you got there.
What"s he go by?
Buckley.
Buckley, sit.
You knowwho l am?
l"m Royal.
Haveyou heard ofme?
l"m very sorryforyour loss.
Your motherwas a terribly attractivewoman.
Thankyou.
Which one areyou?
Ari.
Uzi, l"m your granddad.
Hello.
l"m sorrywe haven"t gotten to know each other.
l don"t get invited around very much.
What do you think ofthat, by theway?
Oh, you...
you don"t have to say anything.
lt"s kind ofa ""fuckyou"" to the old man, l guess.
How"s your daddy?
Fine.
You think so, huh?
How often has he gotyou working out?
16 times aweek.
Do me afavor.
Tell him you want to meet me.
Butwejust met.
No, we didn"t.
Look, l"d like us to have a relationship
butwe have to pull some strings to make it happen.
Now, here"s whatyou tell him. You say...
ARl: Well, Ibet Mom would have wanted us
to meethim before he died.
Wouldn"t she?
Don"tyou think?
Shewas a tough old broad, wasn"t she?
l wouldn"t know.
Excuse me. Come on.
Oh, that"s right.
We"ve got another body buried here, haven"twe?
Uh, hold on.
Take some ofthese.
Come on.
So what do you think ofthis big, old black buck
moving in up there?
Who?
Henry Sherman.
You know him?
Yeah.
ls heworth a damn?
l believe so.
What happened to yourfinger?
Uzi, shh.
lt"s okay, l"ll tell you.
l"m adopted. Did you know that?
Well, l am.
When l was 14, l went to find my real family.
They live in lndiana.
All right, now, just set one ofthem hickory trunks
right up top there, sister Maggie.
( gasps)
Did you try to sew it back on?
Wasn"tworth it.
Hell ofa damn grave.
Wish itwere mine.
lt"s a shame, isn"t it?
What?
Well, you probably had another good two or threeyears
ofcompetitive play in you.
Probably.
l had a lot riding on that match, you know.
Financially and personally.
Why did you choke out there that day, Baumer?
TENNlS ANNOUNCER: Mr. Gandhi leads 40-15.
( crowd reacts)
COMMENTATOR: That"s 72 unforced errors
for RichieTenenbaum.
He"s playing theworst tennis of his life.
What"s hefeeling right now, Tex Hayward?
HAYWARD: l don"t know, Jim.
There"s obviously something wrong with him.
He"s taken off his shoes and one of his socks
and... actually, l think he"s crying.
COMMENTATOR: l thinkyou"re right.
Who"s he looking at in thefriends" box, Tex?
HAYWARD: That"s his sister, Margot
and her new husband, Raleigh St. Clair.
Theywerejust married yesterday, Jim.
COMMENTATOR: Oh, yes.
( crowd reacts)
COMMENTATOR: l"ve never seen anything like this.
HAYWARD: Neither have l.
Strange day out here atWindswept Fields.
l kind ofdisappeared after that, didn"t l?
Yeah.
But l understood.
l knowyou"re notvery good with disappointment.
You still got that little BB
in your hand, Chassie?
( chuckling softly)
Why did you shoot me?
ltwas the object ofthe game, wasn"t it?
No.
Wewere on the same team.
Werewe?
Well... you sued me.
Twice. Got me disbarred.
l don"t hold it againstyou, do l?
And how is it possible
for Mr. Tenenbaum to withdraw thesefunds
withoutyourwritten authorization?
Objection, Your Honor. Damn it, l...
Why don"tyou leave the objections to me, Royal?
Because l started the corporation when l was a minor.
So, myfather was the primary signatory
on most ofmy accounts.
He also stole bonds
out ofmy safety deposit box when l was 14.
( chuckles uncomfortably)
You thinkyou could startforgiving me?
Why should l?
Becauseyou"re hurting me.
Come on.
Wereyou in prison?
Kind of.
Minimum security.
l gotjacked by the lRS.
Should we split?
Yes, sir.
No, call me Mr. Tenenbaum.
Okay.
No, l"m kidding; call me Pappy.
Okay.
Come on, let"s shag ass.
Well, just let me know
ifyou need somebody to talk to, okay?
l like Raleigh very much.
l know he"s a lot older than you are
and you two are having some problems
but... anyway, maybe l can help.
Okay. Thanks.
Hey, Baumer! All right!
All right! Ha! Oh, shit! Oh, Jesus.
By theway, l heard about that letteryou sent to Eli.
You dropped some cigarettes.
Those aren"t mine.
Theyjustfell out ofyour pocket.
Oh, my Lord, look atyou.
Come in.
Did you tell Margot
about that letter l wrote to you?
Why? Did she mention it?
(sighing )
Yes, l did.
Whywould she have repeated that, l wonder?
Well, l would askyou the same question.
Rightly so.
What"d you say?
Hmm?
What?
l didn"t say anything.
When? Right now?
l"m sorry; don"t listen to me.
l"m on mescaline.
l"ve been spaced out all day.
( corkpops)
Did you sayyou"re on mescaline?
l did, indeed.
Very much so.
How often do you, uh...?
l"m worried aboutyou, Richie.
Why?
Well, actually, Margot is, for some reason.
But l did find it odd
when you said you were in lovewith her.
She"s married, you know.
Yeah.
And she"s your sister.
Adopted.
Where are my encyclopedias?
They"ve been placed in storage.
Well, damn you. You"re taking my encyclopedias.
-Th-this is humiliating. -l"m sorry.
Would you like to make a complaint in writing?
Where am l supposed to go?
You"re turning me into a damn hobo.
l"d be happy to make a reservation foryou
-at another hotel. -You son ofa bitch.
Frederick.
Hello there, Dusty.
Hello.
Could you spot me a quarter?
Ofcourse.
Richie? Hi.
lt"s your dad.
l think he"s very lonely...
lonelier than he lets on
maybe lonelier than he even realizes.
Haveyou spoken to him about this?
Briefly, and he agreed thatwe...
l"m sorry, maybe l"m a little confused here.
What areyou suggesting?
That he come here and stay in my room.
Areyou out ofyour mind?
No, l"m not. Anyway, l think that
he"d be much more comfortable here than hewould...
Who gives a shit?
l do.
You poor sucker.
You poor, washed-up papa"s boy.
SHERMAN: All right, let"s not get out of hand.
Please, don"t get in the middle ofthis, Mr. Sherman.
This is afamily matter.
Don"t talk to him like that.
-Call me Henry. -l prefer Mr. Sherman.
Call him Henry.
Why? l don"t know him thatwell.
You"ve known him for ten years.
As your accountant, Mr. Sherman, yes.
Where areyou going to sleep?
l"m just going to camp out upstairs.
We brought our sleeping bag...
Uzi!
ARl: We don"t mind, Dad.
We like him.
UZl: Who, Pappy?
""Pappy""?
He can sleep in the room above us.
Ari, it"s notyour decision.
Nor is ityours.
Well, he"s already up there.
What?!
l think he"s asleep
because ofthe medication he"s on
but l... l guess you can wake him up and throw him out...
ifMom says it"s okay.
( monitorbeeping )
Get out.
( grunting ): All right.
Let mejust collect my things.
( groans)
Would you mind handing me my cane, Richie?
Let me see, where"s my suitcases?
l"ll get "em.
Oh, thanks.
( grunting ): Oh!
Dad!
( groans)
Mom!
Grab me a Nembutal, will you, son?
Areyou okay?
What thefuckyou care?
ETHELlNE: Oh, my goodness.
ROYAL: Pagoda?
Call Doctor McClure.
( monitorflatlines)
( moans)
Take a breath and hold it.
(inhales)
Now cough.
( coughs weakly)
His condition is stable.
The attackwas just a side effect.
l recommend you push fluids
and continue the stomach cancer medication.
(pagerbeeping )
CHAS: Can we move him?
Absolutely not.
For how long?
We"ll have to wait and see.
ls he going to be all right?
That depends. ls he afighter?
Yeah.
Then that"s the bestwe"ve got.
Pagoda"s in possession
ofa parcel containing mywill
and some instructions for thefuneral
including my epitaph, forwhen the time comes.
Proofread itfor me
before they carve it on the headstone, okay?
Okay.
l never did stop loving you, by theway.
Do you believe that?
Not really.
You look terrific.
That dress is stunning.
Thanks.
( acoustic guitarplays soft, slowmelody)
Tears that angels cry...
(loudslurping )
And the dark and all the sky...
Lights out, old man.
l thought l"d read for awhile, Chas.
Sorry. 11:30. Lights out.
l"m right in the middle ofa sentence.
Well, you"ll have to finish it in the morning.
Them"s the rules.
Chas?
Good night, my boy.
When the oneyou love says good-bye
Sing a lullaby
Dee-dee-dee, dee-dee, dee-dee
Dee-dee-dee, dee-dee, dee-dee...
Looks likeyou and Dad are back together again, huh?
He"s your dad, too, Chas.
-No, he"s not. -Yes, he is.
You really hate me, don"tyou?
No. l don"t. l loveyou.
Well, l don"t know whatyou think
you"re going to get out ofthis
but believe me, whatever it is, it"s notworth it.
Chas...
l don"twant to hurtyou.
l knowwhatyou and the boys have been through.
You"re my brother, and l loveyou.
Stop saying that!
What"s thatjackass doing?
l knowyou, asshole!
Did Eli send you that?
Mm-hmm.
He always sends me his clippings.
Whatfor?
l think hejust likes the encouragement.
He"s done itforyears.
He used to send me his grades in college.
(sighs)
That"s ridiculous.
( tapping )
How long do you intend to stay here?
l don"t know.
Areyou ever coming home?
Maybe not.
You"rejoking.
No.
Well, l want to die.
Raleigh, please...
Haveyou met someone else?
l couldn"t even begin to think about
knowing how to answer that question.
ROYAL: l don"t like theway you"re treating Raleigh.
What areyou talking about?
You don"t even know him.
Well, l"ve met him, and l don"t think he deserves...
Stay out ofit.
You"re two-timing him with that bloodsucker
Eli Cash.
Now, that"sjust not right, damn it.
You used to be a genius.
No, l didn"t.
Anyway, that"s what they used to say.
RALElGH: Richard, l knowyou"re terribly close to Margot
and probably understand her better than anyone.
May l confide in you?
(sighs)
Okay.
l believe she"s having an affair.
l"m utterly devastated.
l... don"t know where else to turn.
Will you advise me?
l don"t know.
What do you want to do?
l don"t know.
Perhaps, uh...
Find the guy and get him?
Well, no, l thoughtwe could...
Who do you think it might be?
l don"t know at the moment.
CHAS: Let"s look at the actuals, okay?
l agreewith you a hundred percent.
That"s whywe have marketing grids.
ROYAL: Hey.
What do you say we go down to LittleTokyo
and get somefireworks?
What do you need?
Nothing.
l seeyou got them, uh, crunching numbers foryou.
Please don"t come in this room.
Chas has those boys cooped up
like a pair ofjackrabbits, Etheline.
He has his reasons.
Oh, l know that
butyou can"t raise boys to be scared oflife.
You got to brew some recklessness into them.
l think that"s terrible advice.
No, you don"t.
ARl: We take boxing and self-defense classes.
l"m not talking about dance lessons.
l"m talking about putting a brick
through the other guy"s windshield.
l"m talking about taking it out and chopping it up.
What do you mean?
The mama pajama rolled out of bed
( allyelling )
And she ran to the police station
When the papafound out, he began to shout
And he started the investigation
lt"s against the law
Go!
ltwas against the law
( alllaughing )
What the mama saw, itwas against the law
( chuckling )
The mama looked down and spit on the ground
Ev"ry time my name gets mentioned
The papa said, ""Oy, ifl get that boy
l"m gonna stick him in the house ofdetention""
Well, l"m on myway
l don"t knowwhere l"m goin"
l"m on myway
l"m takin" my time
But l don"t knowwhere
Goodbye to Rosie, the Queen ofCorona...
Come here.
Seeyou, me and Julio -That"s it! Run!
Down by the schoolyard
Seeyou, me and Julio down by the schoolyard.
( whistling melody)
(laughing )
( giggling )
Whoo-hoo!
Yippee!
He saved my life, you know.
30 years ago, l was knifed in a bazaar in Calcutta.
He carried me to the hospital on his back.
( chuckling )
Who stabbed you?
He did.
Yeah, therewas a price on my head
and hewas a hired assassin.
Stuck me right in the gut with that. Shoot.
( allyelling )
( dogs barking, snarling )
CHAS: Hey!
What?
Where haveyou been?
Uh, wejust stepped out to get some air.
What"s that?
Holy shit.
That"s not...?
What is that?
Oh, no, no, that"s, uh, dog"s blood.
Come here.
What?
You stay awayfrom my children.
Do you understand?
My God, l haven"t been in hereforyears.
Hey! Areyou listening to me!
(yelling ): Yes, l am!
l thinkyou"ve having a nervous breakdown!
l don"t thinkyou recovered
from Rachael"s death.
l...
( doorslams)
Thereyou are.
( chuckling )
How areyou feeling?
l"m having a ball.
Scrapping and yelling and mixing it up.
Loving every minute with this damn crew.
l want to thankyou for raising our children
by theway.
Okay.
l"m not kidding.
You always put them first, didn"tyou?
l tried to.
Lately l feel like maybe l didn"t do such a greatjob.
Goddamn it, don"t do that to yourself.
l"m the one thatfailed them.
Or, anyway, it"s nobody"s fault.
Plus, that-- it doesn"t...
Why didn"tyou give a damn about us, Royal?
Why didn"tyou care?
l don"t know.
l"m ashamed ofmyself.
l"ll tell you one thing, though...
you got more grit, fire and guts
than anywoman l have ever met.
What... what areyou smiling about?
Nothing.
No, wha... what"s so funny?
Nothing.
lt"s these little expressions ofyours.
l don"t know whatyou"re talking about
but l"ll take it as a compliment.
You"re true blue, Ethel.
You really are.
How"s your love life?
None ofyour business.
( chuckling )
( hoots)
l"d likeyou to talk to Royal about us
ifyou don"t mind.
l don"t think the timing"s right for that, Henry.
Well, l"d agree
ifl thought hewas really going to die in sixweeks
but l don"t.
Well, l hopeyou"re right.
Actually, l don"t believe l"ll join you tonight.
l"ll call you in the morning.
She said that?
( chuckling )
Great.
Got the sucker on the ropes.
( Royal chucklessoftly)
Can l askyou something, Hank?
Okay.
Areyou trying to steal mywoman?
l beg your pardon?
You heard me, Coltrane.
Coltrane?
What?
Did you just call me ""Coltrane""?
No.
You didn"t?
No.
Okay.
( clears throat)
But ifl did...
you wouldn"t be able to do anything about it, would you?
You don"t think so?
No, l don"t.
Listen, Royal
ifyou think you can march in here...
You want to talk somejive?
l"ll talk somejive.
l"ll talk somejive likeyou"ve never heard.
-Oh, yeah? -Right on!
-Sit down. -What?!
Wh-what did you say?
l said sit down, goddamn it!
Oh, l heard you! l wantyou out ofmy house!
This is notyour house!
l wantyour raggedy ass out!
Don"t talk semantics with me.
Oh, this is notyour...
What"s going on here?
Nothing.
Mmm.
( whirring andpumping )
( no audio )
Hello, l"m calling in regards to a Dr. McClure-- yes--
at Colby General.
The name ofthe patient is Royal Tenenbaum.
Hmm...
ls that aTic-Tac?
( foreboding organ musicplays )
( knockon door)
( recordedsitarmusicplaying )
How much is he paying you?
l don"t knowwhat you"re talking about.
Well, l grew up with the Tenenbaum family, you know.
Right.
Across the street.
Mm-hmm.
They"vefallen on hard times now, haven"t they?
l can"t say no.
This is bullshit.
Change it, huh?
What did you do to your hand?
Uh, nothing.
ROYAL: Can we get somebody over here
to kill these micefor us?
No. They belong to Chas.
Or anyway, he invented them.
Well, get him to stick them in afucking cage
or something.
Etheline... mind coming up here for a minute, please?
What"s cooking, Pops?
You"ll see.
Now, your previous novel...
Yes. Wildcat.
Right.
Not a success.
Why?
Well, Wildcatwas written in a kind ofobsolete
vernacular...
( whispers): Wildcat...
Wild... cat...
( quietlyimitates gunshots)
Wildcat...
l"m going to go.
l"m taking this off and l"m going.
Stepping out.
What the hell kind ofway to act is that?
ELl: Open the door.
He"s on drugs.
l"ll be right back.
James Bradley...
Hold on a minute, please.
What"s going on?
Pagoda has something to say.
He has a cancer.
No, he doesn"t.
l knowwhat stomach cancer looks like.
l"ve seen it.
And you don"t eat
three cheeseburgers a day with French fries ifyou got it.
The pain is excruciating.
Howwould you know?
Mywife had it.
Not only is there no Dr. McClure at Colby General
there is no Colby General.
lt closed in 1974.
Aw, shit, man.
Oh, shit, man.
( Chas grunts)
( dialing rotaryphone)
Yes, can you send a taxi
to 111 ArcherAvenue right away, please?
Thankyou.
(slams receiver)
l guess we"re back out on the street, huh, pal?
Wereyou part ofthis, Pagoda?
Ofcourse hewas.
No, well, yeah, hewas
but, l mean, hewasn"t thatinvolved.
Where"d you get all these medical supplies?
A guy at St. Pete"s owed me afavor.
l did some malpracticework for him.
l do have high blood pressure, though.
Look, l know l"m going to be the bad guy on this one.
But l justwant to say, the last six days have been
the best six days of probably mywhole life.
NARRATOR: Immediatelyafter making thisstatement
Royal realized thatitwas true.
Why"d you do this to us, Royal?
Whatwas the point?
l thought l could win you back.
And then l thought l could get rid ofHenry...
and at least keep the status quo.
Butwe hadn"t spoken in seven years.
l know.
Plus, uh...
l was broke.
And l got kicked out ofmy hotel.
You"re a bastard.
Good-bye, Royal.
Take it easy on those boys, Chassie.
l don"twant this to happen to you.
You know, Richie, this illness, this closeness to death
has had a profound effect on me.
l-l feel like a different person, l really do.
Dad, you were never dying.
But l"m going to live.
He"s notyourfather.
Neither areyou.
( taxi engineidling )
( dropping bags)
You son ofa bitch!
God.... damn...
That"s the last timeyou put a knife in me, hear me?
( groans)
The 375th StreetY, please.
( grunts)
Everyone"s against me.
lt"s yourfault, man.
Yeah, l know, but damn it, l want this family to love me.
How much moneyyou got?
l don"t have.
What, you"re broke?
You got to be kidding me.
How arewe going to pay for this room?
All right, we"ll think ofsomething.
Ow.
(singing quietly)
(sighing )
l"m not in love with you anymore.
l didn"t knowyou everwere.
Let"s not make this any more difficult
than it already is.
Okay.
Okay, what?
Okay, l"m not in love with you, either.
Yes, l know; you"re in lovewith Richie
which is sick and gross.
Do you send my mother your clippings...
and your grades from college?
Please stop belittling me.
You never gave me the time ofday
till l started getting good reviews.
Your reviews aren"t that good.
But the sales are.
(shutterclicks )
Gentlemen... how much do you already know?
Very little, l"m afraid.
Would you like to examine the report?
Yes.
( driving rockintro )
Jackie is a punk, Judy is a runt
They both went down to Berlin, joined the lce Capades
And, oh, l don"t knowwhy
Oh, l don"t knowwhy
Perhaps they"ll die, oh, yeah
Perhaps they"ll die
Oh, yeah
Perhaps they"ll die, oh, yeah
Second verse, same as thefirst
Jackie is a punk, Judy is a runt
They both went down to Berlin, joined the lce Capades
And, oh, l don"t knowwhy
Oh, l don"t knowwhy
Perhaps they"ll die, oh, yeah
Perhaps they"ll die
Oh, yeah
Perhaps they"ll die, oh, yeah
( kazoo solo )
Third verse, differentfrom thefirst
Jackie is a punk...
She smokes.
Yes.
All right, well.
Everything seems to be in order.
l"ll contactyou in the next 24 hours.
l appreciate that.
Uh, which way areyou leaning, by theway?
l"ll inform you ofmy decision
at the appropriate time.
l get it.
Uh, Dusty, put in a good word for us, will you?
l already did.
You want to play someword games
or do some experiments on me or anything?
No.
Your hand on his arm
Haystack charm
Around your neck
Strung out and thin
Calling somefriend, trying to cash some check
He"s acting dumb
That"s whatyou"ve come... to expect
Needle in the hay
( medium tempo acoustic guitarsolo )
He"s wearin" your clothes
Head down to toes
A reaction to you
You sayyou knowwhat he did
Butyou idiot kid
You don"t have a clue
Sometimes theyjust
Get caught in the eye
You"re pulling him through
Needle in the hay
Needle in the hay...
( whispering ): l"m going to kill myself tomorrow.
Needle in the hay
Needle in the hay.
( acoustic guitarcontinues)
( no audio )
( acoustic guitarcrescendos)
( tiressquealing )
Dudley, where is he?
Who?
He"ll probably sleep for several hours
and then l"ll come back to check on him.
All right?
How areyou feeling?
Fine, thanks.
Areyou in any pain?
Not really.
Why"d you try to kill yourself?
Don"t press him right now.
l wrote a suicide note.
You did?
Yeah.
Right after l regained consciousness.
Can we read it?
No.
Can you paraphrase itfor us?
l don"t think so.
ls it dark?
Ofcourse it"s dark.
lt"s a suicide note.
All right, that"s enough.
Doctor said to let him sleep.
What?!
Coverfor us, will you, Dusty?
Yes. Yes, Royal.
You"ve made a cuckold ofme.
l know.
Many times over.
l"m sorry.
And you nearly killed your poor brother.
ETHELlNE: What"s he talking about?
lt doesn"t matter.
She"s balling Eli Cash.
ETHELlNE: Oh, my goodness.
May l have a cigarette?
What?
Shall l repeat the question?
You don"t smoke.
l know that.
(sighs)
And a light.
Au revoir.
ETHELlNE: How long haveyou been a smoker?
22 years.
Well, l thinkyou should quit.
( dooropens)
How can l help?
Let me look at theseforms.
Oh, Henry.
RichieTenenbaum, please.
NURSE: Your name?
Royal Tenenbaum.
l"m afraid visiting hours are over, sir.
Wh-Wh-What does it say there-- they don"twant me?
l-l"m sorry.
l have to referyou to Dr. Burrows.
He"ll be in tomorrow afternoon.
( mumbles)
We could shimmy up that gutter
jump over thatwindow ledge
and then, uh, pry open thatventilator shaft.
There he is.
Richie!
Richie.
Where"s he going?
Richie!
Well, l have to say
he didn"t look half bad for a suicide.
Attempted, anyway.
Thanks.
Please
Give me second grace
Please
Give me a second face
l"vefallen far down
Thefirst time around
Now l just sit on the ground in yourway
( on recordplayer): Now
lfit"s time for recompense
Forwhat"s done...
MARGOT: Who"s there?
Come
Come sit down on thefence in the sun...
Hello?
And the clouds will roll by
And we"ll never deny--
( needlelifts from record )
( tentflap opens)
W-What areyou doing in my tent?
Just listening to some records.
Aren"tyou supposed to be in the hospital?
l checked myselfout.
( rockintro playing on organ )
How many stitches did you get?
l don"t know.
You want to see?
They seem to stay for day after day
And won"t disappear...
Jesus.
l tried everyway...
Richie, that looks horrible.
l heard aboutyour ex-husband.
Desmond?
l guess so.
l didn"t get his name.
Yeah.
l met him in the ocean.
l was swimming
and he came out to me in a canoe.
Wewere only married nine days.
And l heard about Eli.
l know.
Poor Eli.
Anyway, they mostly just talked aboutyou.
They did?
Yeah.
l guess thatwas the attraction, ifyou knowwhat l mean.
She smiled sweetly
And says don"tworry...
l have to tell you something.
What"s that?
l loveyou.
l loveyou, too.
There"s no use tryin"
You"re here
Begin again
And o"er again
That"s what she said so softly...
l can"t stop thinking aboutyou.
l went awayfor ayear, and it only gotworse
and l don"t know what to do.
Let"s lie down for a minute.
(sighs)
She smiled sweetly
She smiled sweetly...
This is the sleeping bag
we took to the museum, isn"t it.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, no, no, no...
Why"d you do it?
Because ofme?
Yeah, but it"s notyourfault.
(song ends)
You"re not going to do it again, areyou?
l doubt it.
Shewould never say
Where she camefrom...
( crying quietly)
Yesterday don"t matter
lfit"s gone
While the sun is bright
Or in the darkest night
No one knows...
l thinkwe"rejust going to have to be
secretly in lovewith each other
and leave it at that, Richie.
Good-bye, RubyTuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still l"m gonna miss you...
Lobbyfloor.
(song continues softlyin background)
Thankyou, sir.
Going up?
Yeah.
Whatfloor, sir?
Doesn"t matter.
So, you"re elevator operators now?
Yeah, just started.
We"ll get a bump as soon as wejoin the union.
(song fades out)
What madeyou decide to do that?
We"re broke.
But in answer to your question
l wanted to prove
l could pay my dues, and whatnot.
l just hope somebody notices.
You asked me why l choked out there that day.
l think l may know the answer
and l wanted your advice.
Sure.
MargotTenenbaum?
Yeah.
Well, sincewhen?
Since always.
Does she know?
Uh-huh.
Well, what does shefeel about that?
l think shefeels confused.
Well, l can understand that.
lt"s probably illegal.
l don"t think so.
We"re not related by blood.
That"s true.
Still frowned upon.
But then, what isn"t these days, right?
l don"t know, maybe itworks.
Why not, what the hell.
You love each other.
Nobody knows what"s going to happen, so...
You know something.
Don"t listen to me.
l never understood her myself.
l never understood any of us.
l wish l could tell you what to do
but l just can"t.
That"s okay.
No, it"s not.
You still consider me yourfather?
Sure, l do.
l wish l had more to offer in that department.
l knowyou do, Pop.
l don"t blameyou, by theway.
Uh, she"s a great-looking girl
and smart as awhip.
Mordecai.
Stephanie says that shewants to know
Why she"s given half her life
To people she hates now...
Holy shit.
You came back.
Jiminy crickets.
That damn bird must have radar in its brain.
ls that true, Mordecai?
l-l"m not so sure this is Mordecai.
What do you mean?
Heflew right in here.
This bird has much more whitefeathers on him.
Oh, the son ofa bitch must be molting.
Oh. l need your help with something else.
You got it. What"s the situation?
Well, um, l think Eli maybe...
Hold it.
Pagoda, meet me in the lobby.
Let"s hit it.
(shoveslever, elevatorspeeds up )
l didn"t mean right this second, but... that"s okay.
l don"t think itwas Ramses.
l believe itwas Tootinkamen.
Tutankhamen.
Tutankhamen?
Yes. Tutankhamen.
( knockatdoor)
( ""Rockthe Casbah"" playing in background)
Yes?
Hey, Richie.
Wewant to takeyou to get some help.
ls itjustyou guys?
ROYAL: Would you
excuse us, please?
Okay.
( turns music off)
Arewe still friends?
What do you mean?
Arewe?
Ofcourse.
How can you even ask me that?
Well, it doesn"t matter.
lt doesn"t matter?
lt does matter.
l heard aboutyou and Margot.
l"m sorry.
l don"t knowwhat to say.
You don"t have to say anything.
l always wanted to be aTenenbaum, you know.
Me, too.
ELl: "Cause it doesn"t mean
what it used to though, does it?
l wish he"d done this for me when l was a kid.
Butyou didn"t have a drug problem then.
Yeah, but itwould"ve meant a lot to me.
Anyway, l"m glad you"re here now.
l recognize that l have a problem...
and l want to get better.
l"ll just grab my stuff.
There he goes.
What?!
There he goes.
Tucker!
Skiddly, skiddly.
( mumblesincoherently)
(""Christmas Time is Here"" playing )
Christmastime is here
Happiness and cheer...
l"d like to order some ice cream for my daughter, please.
Whatwould you like, Margot?
Nothing. l told you l have to go in five minutes.
Oh.
( quietsigh )
l"ll have a butterscotch sundae, l guess.
Your brother"s all torn up inside.
Well, so am l, but l"m not going to discuss itwith you.
Oh...
Can"t somebody be a shit theirwhole life
and try to repair the damage?
l-l mean, l think peoplewant to hear that.
Do they?
Mmm.
You probably don"t even know
my middle name.
That"s a trick question.
You don"t have one.
Helen.
Thatwas my mother"s name.
l know itwas.
Anybody interested in grabbing a couple burgers
and hitting the cemetery?
(solemn organ musicplays )
( Royal whistles)
l got something foryou, Ethel.
Actually, l made it.
What"s this?
lt"s a divorce.
From you?
Yes.
This is Sanchez.
He"s a notary public.
-Hello. -Hello, sir.
You just sign here
and initial here and sign there.
You own this building, don"tyou, Henry?
Hmm.
lt"s magnificent.
l used to be a homeowner myself
until our son expropriated it from me.
l got to catch my bus.
Thanks, Sanchez.
You"rewelcome.
ETHELlNE: Arewe divorced?
Almost.
Sanchezjust has to file the papers.
l loveyou, Etheline.
Congratulations to both ofyou.
l didn"t think so much of him atfirst.
But now l get it.
He"s everything that l"m not.
( chuckles)
Take back Pagoda, will you?
( bus drives off)
(string quartettuning )
(playing classical music)
Uh, slightly uneven.
Looks okay. You"rejust nervous.
( knocking )
Henry?
Hello, Richie.
Hi.
This is my son, Walter Sherman.
Hi, Walter. Nice to meetyou.
Nice to meetyou.
Henry"s your dad?
Yes.
So you"ve been married before.
Yes. l"m awidower.
Oh, yeah.
l forgot.
You know, l"m awidower myself.
l knowyou are, Chas.
(plastic rattling againstteeth )
What areyou chewing on?
My nicotine inhaler.
lt"s supposed to help me quit.
ls itworking?
Not really.
Well, ofcourse, l"m halfHebrew
but the children are three-quarters Mick Catholic.
So theywere raised in the church?
l believe so.
l really don"t know.
( tiressquealing )
( engine roaring )
Here l come.
Boys!
(scream and crash )
Whatwas that?
Eli just crashed his car into thefront ofthe house.
Oh, my God.
Where"s my shoe?
Ari, Uzi, where areyou?
They"re okay, Chas.
lt"s okay. They"re safe.
They"re safe.
Dad, they ran over Buckley.
What?
Yeah, l thinkwe lost Buckley.
He saved them.
Who?
Dad. He pulled them out oftheway.
You did?
Did l hit anyone?
ls everybody okay?
Eli!
What"s going on?
( mumbles)
(yells)
CHAS: Eli!
What?
Hey, man.
You should try this. lt"s very tasty.
(screaming )
( groaning )
(screaming )
ELl: Tenenbaum!
( gasping )
Chas?
( grunts)
Did l hit the dog?
Yeah.
ls he dead?
Yeah.
l need help.
So do l.
Go around to the other side.
ROYAL: You kids stay there.
We"ll be right back.
HENRY: Yeah.
Can l say something to you, Henry?
Okay.
l"ve always been considered an asshole
for about as long as l can remember.
That"sjust my style.
But l"d reallyfeel blue
ifl didn"t think you were going to forgive me.
l don"t think you"re an asshole, Royal.
l just thinkyou"re kind ofa son ofa bitch.
Well, l really appreciate that.
(sirens approaching )
Could you let us in your backyard, ma"am?
We"ve got a couple boys back there.
l thinkyou may have broken an ankle.
Well, that"s not terribly serious, is it?
Do you have an alternate?
No.
Ready?
Are there priests on call?
Why don"tyou bring the car around, Anwar.
Atwhich point, l apparently lost control ofthevehicle
smashed it into the house, and killed that poor dog.
You"re Eli Cash.
Yes indeed, l am.
l loveyourwork.
Oh, how sweet ofyou to say.
DlSPATCHER ( on radio ): 78-35, Code Six.
105 North Sandler...
ROYAL: l think he"s part mutt.
What kind of papers do you havefor him?
Spark Plug, sit, sit.
Good boy.
Put this on.
(laughs)
What"s so funny, Dudley?
You look great.
(laughing )
DUSTY: Can you see out ofit?
Not really.
Uh-huh. Minor corneal damage.
Page me ifit spreads to the other eye.
(sirens approaching )
Who do l make it out to?
Alex? Okay.
( fire engine horn blasting )
But these aren"t structure- bearing elements, Dad.
lt doesn"t matter.
lt"s still best to file anotherforce majeure
and recoup the deductible.
( horn blasting )
( background radio communication )
You boys come up herewith me.
But Buckley"s still under there.
l know, but there"s nothing we can do for him at the moment.
( quietly): Come on.
l gotyou a new dog for the boys.
l just bought him.
You did?
Sorry l letyou down, Chas.
All ofyou.
l been trying to make it up to you.
What"s his name?
Spark Plug.
Thankyou.
You"rewelcome.
l"ve had a rough year, Dad.
l knowyou have, Chassie.
Hey.
( fluttering )
(softchirping )
RlCHlE: See, now he has
morewhitefeathers on his neck.
l wonder what happened to him?
l don"t know.
Sometimes ifa person has a traumatic experience
their hair turns white.
Well, l"m sure he"ll get over it.
This was one ofmyfirst hiding places.
How old do you think those are?
l"d say about ten years.
Come here.
(softchirping )
( gentle melodyplays on acoustic guitar)
NARRATOR: Royal dug a hole forBuckley behind the garden shed
and buried him in a canvas duffel bag.
All right, boys.
Say a prayer.
Dear Heavenly Father...
l do.
Etheline and Henrywere married
48 hourslater injudge"s chambers.
Margot"s newplaywasproduced atthe Cavendish Theatre.
This is my adopted daughter, Elaine Levinson.
( chuckling )
Itran forjustundertwo weeks and received mixed reviews.
Yes, can the boy tell time?
Oh, my Lord, no.
No. No.
Raleigh and Dudley wenton alecture tour
to 11 universities
in thepromotion oftheirnewbook.
( audience applause)
Eli checked himselfinto a rehabilitation hospital
in North Dakota.
Oh, hey, this is my sponsor, Runs With Two Horses.
Wind"s blowing up a gale today.
This is the grip that Rod Laver used.
Areyou familiarwith Laver?
Richiestarted aprogram
teaching competitive tennis to eight-to-12yearolds
atthe 375th StreetY.
Game. Change sides.
( hooting, hollering, andlaughing )
Royal had a heartattack atthe age of68.
Chas rode with him in the ambulance
and was the onlywitness to his father"s death.
In his will, hestipulated
thathis funeral takeplace atdusk.
( music ends)
Among the fewpossessions heleftto his heirs
was aset ofEncyclopedia Britannica
in storage atthe Lindbergh Palace Hotel
underthe names Ari and Uzi Tenenbaum.
No onespoke atthe funeral
and FatherPetersen"sleg had notyetmended...
butitwas agreed among them
thatRoyal would have found the event
to be mostsatisfactory.
Fire!
( harpsichordintro playing overrockbeat)
We shall walk again
All along the lane
Down the avenue
Just likewe used to
With our heads so high
Smile at passersby
And we"ll softly sigh
Ai-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi
Everyone, everyone, everyone, everyone
By thewinding stream
We shall lay and dream
And these dreams come true
lfwewant them to
Yes, all will come
Playing pipes and drum
Sing a happy song
Yeah, we"ll sing along
Everyone, everyone, everyone, everyone
(instrumentalinterlude)
We shall walk again
All along down the lane
Down the avenue
Just likewe used to
With our heads so high
Smile at passersby
And we"ll softly sigh
Ai-yi-yi-yi- yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi
Everyone, everyone, everyone, everyone
(scatting )
Yeah, yeah, hey, yeah.
( gentle acoustic music continues)
( musicslowlyfades out)